Sunday, June 29, 2008
SMO 2008
I walked out of Hall A towards Blue Tea, and the first sight of Shi-Jie made my heart beat even faster than before.
I was anxious about this year's SMO. The consequences that it might carry, the close competition that the 5 of us had in our batch, the uncertainties of SMO results, the toughness of the paper, and the ever-usual stress of 3 hour long competitions. Somehow, this year, after SLC's over and I am refocused again, the personal expectations for this particular day was set high. I couldn't lose touch with Mathematics, not now that I am already so close, or deeply involved.
Walking into the familiar LT27 that was the freezing cold venue last year, the competition started with few instructions right after everyone managed to find a seat. I stared at the questions for a while, trying to figure out my strategy for the next 3 hours. Last year, the timing was just right. I focused on 3 questions, and managed to check my solutions even. This year, the questions seemed a little tougher, but I gave it my best shot anyway.
1st question was a geometry question. Peter was able to finish his working on it during the first 10 minutes, but as I read the question, an inexplicable phobia of geometry swept past me once again. I never was very strong in geometry, but given the rise in standard of such questions in Senior Section, I never really gave myself much of a chance during Geometry Maths Olympiad lessons in school. I moved on to the next question, which seemed to be a more friendly topic to me. Numbers and indices. This time, I really spent a lot of time on the question. Although I went to other questions after running out of ideas for that one, my first real feasible idea came one hour into the competition, and the brainwave struck me like lightning -- sudden, and fascinating.
Perhaps nobody in Hwa Chong sec 3 understood the 3rd question, so I skipped it. 4th question was more about logic and disproving a scenario. I always have had quite an interest towards such questions as well, and soon, I broke the code to find the contradiction that was needed.
Lastly, the 5th question. Though it did not look very complicated, through experience, I realised that we should never underestimate that last question. Working and expanding on the complicated equations, I conceded defeat in the end. It was inequalities after all, and I never really liked complicated factorisations and the sort. Haha. All the while, I could spy Shi-Jie (sitting beside me) either writing furiously or thinking really hard, not a movement to be made for some period of time.
Time was up, and as I got up to hand in the solutions, Shi-Jie was complaining that he already knew how to do the 1st question, just that he mis-estimated the time and couldn't finish writing his solution to that question, costing him many precious marks. Oh wells, shit happens, and we learn from experience.
It was the first time that I actually thought of the questions after coming out of the hyped up theatre at the end. My mind wasn't tired as it should have been then, but I also knew that that resolution would break after a few hours at most. I discussed the questions with the other Hwa Chong guys, and to my surprise, all 5 of us managed to do around 2 questions each, spread across questions 1, 2 and 4. Nobody understood 3 and 5 was just crazy. Haha. After having lunch at 6th Avenue, I accidentally fell asleep on Eng Keat's bed, still in school uniform like nobody's business. ;P
I was anxious about this year's SMO. The consequences that it might carry, the close competition that the 5 of us had in our batch, the uncertainties of SMO results, the toughness of the paper, and the ever-usual stress of 3 hour long competitions. Somehow, this year, after SLC's over and I am refocused again, the personal expectations for this particular day was set high. I couldn't lose touch with Mathematics, not now that I am already so close, or deeply involved.
Walking into the familiar LT27 that was the freezing cold venue last year, the competition started with few instructions right after everyone managed to find a seat. I stared at the questions for a while, trying to figure out my strategy for the next 3 hours. Last year, the timing was just right. I focused on 3 questions, and managed to check my solutions even. This year, the questions seemed a little tougher, but I gave it my best shot anyway.
1st question was a geometry question. Peter was able to finish his working on it during the first 10 minutes, but as I read the question, an inexplicable phobia of geometry swept past me once again. I never was very strong in geometry, but given the rise in standard of such questions in Senior Section, I never really gave myself much of a chance during Geometry Maths Olympiad lessons in school. I moved on to the next question, which seemed to be a more friendly topic to me. Numbers and indices. This time, I really spent a lot of time on the question. Although I went to other questions after running out of ideas for that one, my first real feasible idea came one hour into the competition, and the brainwave struck me like lightning -- sudden, and fascinating.
Perhaps nobody in Hwa Chong sec 3 understood the 3rd question, so I skipped it. 4th question was more about logic and disproving a scenario. I always have had quite an interest towards such questions as well, and soon, I broke the code to find the contradiction that was needed.
Lastly, the 5th question. Though it did not look very complicated, through experience, I realised that we should never underestimate that last question. Working and expanding on the complicated equations, I conceded defeat in the end. It was inequalities after all, and I never really liked complicated factorisations and the sort. Haha. All the while, I could spy Shi-Jie (sitting beside me) either writing furiously or thinking really hard, not a movement to be made for some period of time.
Time was up, and as I got up to hand in the solutions, Shi-Jie was complaining that he already knew how to do the 1st question, just that he mis-estimated the time and couldn't finish writing his solution to that question, costing him many precious marks. Oh wells, shit happens, and we learn from experience.
It was the first time that I actually thought of the questions after coming out of the hyped up theatre at the end. My mind wasn't tired as it should have been then, but I also knew that that resolution would break after a few hours at most. I discussed the questions with the other Hwa Chong guys, and to my surprise, all 5 of us managed to do around 2 questions each, spread across questions 1, 2 and 4. Nobody understood 3 and 5 was just crazy. Haha. After having lunch at 6th Avenue, I accidentally fell asleep on Eng Keat's bed, still in school uniform like nobody's business. ;P
Saturday, June 21, 2008
The past 4 weeks, something to learn from
It's the end of the holidays now. As I type this out, my mind is still going over the details of Holland's loss to Russia in the Euro quarter-finals. I support the more attractive team of course, and it pains me to see that 3 underdogs have gone through to the semis after 3 quarter-final matches...
But that's just part of what my holiday was for the past 4 weeks. The first week was entirely devoted to SLC, with clearing up of the school compound only done on the Monday of the second week. SLC is perhaps the biggest thing that I will ever experience in high school, but here is not the avenue for further elaboration.
Second week was spent at home while third week was spent in Singapore because of a badminton competition that I eventually lost in. For the last week, I feel really forunate to be able to skip council camp, given that I have already been through 2 years of highly similar camps while not even recognising many of my juniors in council. I don't blame myself, how could I, being one of the invisible members of iCouncil while in SLC? ;) Besides, I slept through half of last year's camp. =D
I still remember last year, when I was constantly craving for "a good break" during the 3 weeks, but never really seeming to get one. I was totally burned out mentally after 13SLC. Add that to my unusually high "withdrawal symptom", and I had to fluke in certain areas after school reopened. The pressure then was too great, too many promises have been made, but this year, things have changed.
This year, perhaps a slightly higher level of discipline, minimised effects of withdrawal symptom and the important infusion of badminton sessions into my holiday schedule helped to ease all the problems faced last year. Expectations and thoughts were always running through my mind last year, but I was already exhausted after a long 6 month haul, and things just couldn't be done "satisfyingly".
Badminton helped to take my mind off work actually. Being almost on par with my brothers now, I had much more fun this time round, perhaps having the best social badminton sessions that I have ever had. For that, I seriously have to thank my 2 brother as well as the other special family. =)
The past 6 months has been indeed, a wonderful and fruitful learning experience for me. I understood more on who I really was, who I could be, how people see me, how as I always say, "everything's in the mind". Sleeping time, work, badminton, everything. As long as we have the mental will, discipline and flexibility of various ideas to work with, almost everything is possible... Even the things that you never deemed possible.
Cheers, to the reopening of school, no matter what (or how) my brothers say it to be. =)
But that's just part of what my holiday was for the past 4 weeks. The first week was entirely devoted to SLC, with clearing up of the school compound only done on the Monday of the second week. SLC is perhaps the biggest thing that I will ever experience in high school, but here is not the avenue for further elaboration.
Second week was spent at home while third week was spent in Singapore because of a badminton competition that I eventually lost in. For the last week, I feel really forunate to be able to skip council camp, given that I have already been through 2 years of highly similar camps while not even recognising many of my juniors in council. I don't blame myself, how could I, being one of the invisible members of iCouncil while in SLC? ;) Besides, I slept through half of last year's camp. =D
I still remember last year, when I was constantly craving for "a good break" during the 3 weeks, but never really seeming to get one. I was totally burned out mentally after 13SLC. Add that to my unusually high "withdrawal symptom", and I had to fluke in certain areas after school reopened. The pressure then was too great, too many promises have been made, but this year, things have changed.
This year, perhaps a slightly higher level of discipline, minimised effects of withdrawal symptom and the important infusion of badminton sessions into my holiday schedule helped to ease all the problems faced last year. Expectations and thoughts were always running through my mind last year, but I was already exhausted after a long 6 month haul, and things just couldn't be done "satisfyingly".
Badminton helped to take my mind off work actually. Being almost on par with my brothers now, I had much more fun this time round, perhaps having the best social badminton sessions that I have ever had. For that, I seriously have to thank my 2 brother as well as the other special family. =)
The past 6 months has been indeed, a wonderful and fruitful learning experience for me. I understood more on who I really was, who I could be, how people see me, how as I always say, "everything's in the mind". Sleeping time, work, badminton, everything. As long as we have the mental will, discipline and flexibility of various ideas to work with, almost everything is possible... Even the things that you never deemed possible.
Cheers, to the reopening of school, no matter what (or how) my brothers say it to be. =)
Back to Primary Olympiad Days...
It seemed like quite a wild idea at first, but I decided to take the job after all.
As preparation for an Olympiad competition even tougher than what they have faced before, extra lessons were given to an exclusive 10 primary school pupils. My elder brother was the regular teacher for this particular class, but on Thursday night, the sudden thought came. I knew where the students standards were, and similar to my brothers, I knew that the competition was for "pure exposure", to put it in a nice way. Heck, even I would feel intimidated 3 years ago...
Dissimilar to what my brothers did, however, was that I actually prepared for the one and a half hour lesson. The main reason why I never wanted to teach at first was because I didn't know what to teach, and how the lesson should be conducted. I asked my brother, and he said that no structure was yet to be in place, and there wasn't really a timeline or teaching aim done up. There was nothing much for me to start with, seeing that my brother only brought a single book to class.
I ended up preparing for the class for 2 whole hours, searching my 2004 Maths camp archives, asking my brother whether the questions were suitable, and finally, choosing 15 of the best questions that I could find. I already knew how to do the questions at the back of my hand actually, so I didn't spend time writing out any sort of solution.
I finished up just on time in the school library, with the company of someone whose prescence I truly appreciated. Walking in to the classroom, I saw 8 tired souls getting a little restless, doing things I presume any tired 12 year-old would. It was the fatigue in their eyes that reminded me of my primary school life, and I doubt few days were as tough as this. It was time for the 15 questions, and a new experience for me.
The class was perhaps as expected perhaps, not fooling around as much (cos my brother jus scolded them the previous day), slightly lacking concentration, playful after seeing such a young teacher, but overall still okay. Thrice I saw people playing with handphones under their tables, but besides a stare and a warning, I was on the brink of lashing out. I threw a piece of chalk at someone who continuously guessed answers blindly; I chased people back to their seats for "innocent" reasons, but that was about all the clamping down that I did. I tried not to keep the mood too tense, given their already waning focus on the subject at hand. Some students knew me after going for the SMOPS invitational round, but too bad, I didn't recognise anyone but one. =P
As I walked to the school gate, perhaps a sense of satisfaction crept over me. I put in the effort to source for those 15 questions and write them out nicely, I am not sure how much use they actually were, but at least I tried. =)
First and maybe last experience in teaching. Haha.
As preparation for an Olympiad competition even tougher than what they have faced before, extra lessons were given to an exclusive 10 primary school pupils. My elder brother was the regular teacher for this particular class, but on Thursday night, the sudden thought came. I knew where the students standards were, and similar to my brothers, I knew that the competition was for "pure exposure", to put it in a nice way. Heck, even I would feel intimidated 3 years ago...
Dissimilar to what my brothers did, however, was that I actually prepared for the one and a half hour lesson. The main reason why I never wanted to teach at first was because I didn't know what to teach, and how the lesson should be conducted. I asked my brother, and he said that no structure was yet to be in place, and there wasn't really a timeline or teaching aim done up. There was nothing much for me to start with, seeing that my brother only brought a single book to class.
I ended up preparing for the class for 2 whole hours, searching my 2004 Maths camp archives, asking my brother whether the questions were suitable, and finally, choosing 15 of the best questions that I could find. I already knew how to do the questions at the back of my hand actually, so I didn't spend time writing out any sort of solution.
I finished up just on time in the school library, with the company of someone whose prescence I truly appreciated. Walking in to the classroom, I saw 8 tired souls getting a little restless, doing things I presume any tired 12 year-old would. It was the fatigue in their eyes that reminded me of my primary school life, and I doubt few days were as tough as this. It was time for the 15 questions, and a new experience for me.
The class was perhaps as expected perhaps, not fooling around as much (cos my brother jus scolded them the previous day), slightly lacking concentration, playful after seeing such a young teacher, but overall still okay. Thrice I saw people playing with handphones under their tables, but besides a stare and a warning, I was on the brink of lashing out. I threw a piece of chalk at someone who continuously guessed answers blindly; I chased people back to their seats for "innocent" reasons, but that was about all the clamping down that I did. I tried not to keep the mood too tense, given their already waning focus on the subject at hand. Some students knew me after going for the SMOPS invitational round, but too bad, I didn't recognise anyone but one. =P
As I walked to the school gate, perhaps a sense of satisfaction crept over me. I put in the effort to source for those 15 questions and write them out nicely, I am not sure how much use they actually were, but at least I tried. =)
First and maybe last experience in teaching. Haha.
Monday, June 09, 2008
14th Student Leaders Convention -- h(OT)* sh(OT)
Happiness. Relief. Fatigue. Emptiness. Regret.All these, and many more are still running through my mind after the biggest council event that I have experienced so far. I won't go into details. All that's already in the After-Action-Review. It's just going to be a reflection this time.
The working process was, well, not as smooth as can be. But still, at least we had fun. =) The times we had, the nights of sleeplessness, the evenings of dinner outside, the rush to communicate and co-ordinate something the next day, even the stress when we were working on documents. I can still remember the moments. And now that it's over, the mixed feelings are taking over.
The past 2 weeks of my holidays hasn't been as "relaxing" as I hoped it to be. As you can see, I have been delaying this post for a long time now. There's about 11 hours of sleep each day, almost 2 hours of badminton time each day, reformatting my computer, going out for meals, plus maybe 3 hours of computer time each night. Well, not much left perhaps. =)
14SLC OT! =D
I can't say too much here, cos there's stuff that's too personal for me to mention. Apologies yea? ;) Well, I have to say that the event was pretty successful from the participants' and the facilitators' point of view. I have to admit that I am sort of a perfectionist, and that my standards can be pretty high, but for SLC, the expectations really are high, considering it's rich 13 year history before this year.
I tried to lead with leniency and a sense of minimal hierarchy. I tried, but to tell the truth, it jeopardised work efficiency. I learnt many valuable lessons in the 4 and a half months that I worked with 24 other great student leaders, but this, is the most valuable one.
I didn't actually cry during Grand Finale as some might have expected to, but I have to say that I only cry during the most unexpected of moments. I still remember, the times we had. 14SLC may be my last council event in High School, but those 4 days, was definitely the time of our lives.
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Hurt, by many things
Why did I think I could call the shots? Was I wrong? Perhaps not, but what I had in mind, was something that was definitely different from what's happening now. I tried to be as neutral as possible, but no matter how hard I try, there's still an element of biasness I feel. It's so abrupt, so sudden, so deadly, so impactful.
I feel like hitting a punching bag as hard as I want right now, I feel like using all my strength until none is left for anger or despair. But right now, I am constrained to the mere fast and furious act of hitting the keyboard with my fingers. Yes, it is a really difficult situation for me now, but I don't know how long will it take for things to smooth over, for things to go back to normal (if they can ever be), for me to forget.
I am weak now, not because of the running just now, but because of my heart that has been hit with a bang. The sheer force of this morning's happenings has affected me badly. I see flaws in all 3 people doings, but yet I cannot have neither the wit nor courage nor tact to reconcile relationships. The antagonist in this story is an unwilling one, one who was accidental, one who tried but perhaps did things inappropriately.
I hope the one who got hurt the most still trusts me, for within all the words said, I still have the naggy feeling of hurt that even I may not be trusted fully. After all that has happened, "the worst" shall not, and will not be possible. I can assure that, a certain distance has been kept, but what I suspect hurts me. I once mentioned that I wouldn't heal properly if things were to happen, and it still is true for me now. Trust, and truth.
It's a difficult situation, for all of us. I am fortunate to have someone tactful enough to understand that, but on my part, I still feel that I have improvements to be made on that area.
What was meant to be an at least okay morning, has turned out to be one of the most unexpected ones.
"Ignorance is bliss", how true can that be...
I feel like hitting a punching bag as hard as I want right now, I feel like using all my strength until none is left for anger or despair. But right now, I am constrained to the mere fast and furious act of hitting the keyboard with my fingers. Yes, it is a really difficult situation for me now, but I don't know how long will it take for things to smooth over, for things to go back to normal (if they can ever be), for me to forget.
I am weak now, not because of the running just now, but because of my heart that has been hit with a bang. The sheer force of this morning's happenings has affected me badly. I see flaws in all 3 people doings, but yet I cannot have neither the wit nor courage nor tact to reconcile relationships. The antagonist in this story is an unwilling one, one who was accidental, one who tried but perhaps did things inappropriately.
I hope the one who got hurt the most still trusts me, for within all the words said, I still have the naggy feeling of hurt that even I may not be trusted fully. After all that has happened, "the worst" shall not, and will not be possible. I can assure that, a certain distance has been kept, but what I suspect hurts me. I once mentioned that I wouldn't heal properly if things were to happen, and it still is true for me now. Trust, and truth.
It's a difficult situation, for all of us. I am fortunate to have someone tactful enough to understand that, but on my part, I still feel that I have improvements to be made on that area.
What was meant to be an at least okay morning, has turned out to be one of the most unexpected ones.
"Ignorance is bliss", how true can that be...
